gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
