The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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