My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
