I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
