I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize