he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
