Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
