I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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