Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
