I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
