It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
