Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
