So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
