$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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