Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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