My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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