that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
