Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
