Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
