so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
