I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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