belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
