She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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