i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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