I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
