I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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