i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
