i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
