so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
