You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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