She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
