is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
