I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
