I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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