Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
