Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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