I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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