I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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