the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize