i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
