The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
