Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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