he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
