In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
