Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
