D3 body, D1 cock
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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