We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize