And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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