I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
my poor anus
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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