Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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