Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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