i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
