I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
