pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
