k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
