it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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