Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
