hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
