his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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