But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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