if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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