maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
